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| "I want you so bad, believe me." - - - I'm going to do some rambling. lol Lately I've been hit all at once with a lot of decisions. Very important decisions - decisions that could change my life for better or for worse. I can take my time making these decisions (thank goodness), but the fact that I have to face them sooner or later sunk in a few days ago, and it scared me. I've always been frightened by change. I don't like it for various reasons, because it means that things are going to be different and I like things in my life just the way they are NOW. But at the same time, I know that nobody can say where their lives are going to end up, or when the circumstances that begin those changes are going to come. I guess for me, I didn't expect these changes to come so soon. My mind is still trying to take it all in, and trying to process what the future may or may not hold for me. That, my friend, can be a very scary thing indeed. I know as time goes on, I'll feel better and be more sure of what I want to happen in my life, because I'm aware that I and I alone am in control of it (even though it often doesn't feel that way). It's the getting there that's difficult, but I know I'm not alone in this. I will get there eventually. I am, after all, only 19. Such things as this is a part of life. And without growth and change...I guess nobody would have a life at all. | | |
| I can't promise forever, but I'm working on it. - - - I can't complain right now. Work's slowed down, and now I go in at 5 during the week instead of working all day long. Some people don't like to work evenings/nights because they want to spend it doing something else, but I like it. I'm more of a night owl anyways. Plus, I always have Tuesdays off, and this week I have Friday and Saturday off. Can I get a hallelujah? lol The trees have been changing color since it's fall, but today I think has been one of the peak color days. The sun was out, and everything was breathtaking. I got my camera out and walked down the road into a really cute subdivision called New Halifax to take some pictures, and they turned out great. Can't wait to upload em and work my magic in Photoshop...even though the pictures are pretty much perfect light and colorwise. Have any of you guys ever been shopping or heard of Charlotte Russe? Well, it's my new addiction. I love all their clothes. I went online yesterday and shopped for a few hours, and tomorrow I'm purchasing several shirts, shoes, and some earrings. I'm so excited!!! It'll be the last shopping spree for a while though...the clothes aren't exactly the cheapest in the world. But they're cheap enough to be worth buying in my opinion. hehehe Mom just told me several days ago that December 14-20th we're going to rent a cabin in the mountains. I'm so EXCITED! I put in a request for work as soon as I could, so I'm really hoping they let me off. I don't see why they wouldn't, since I put in a really early request and never ask any time off. I'm going to invite my girl Care too. She'll make the trip complete! I'm hoping I have enough fall/winter sweaters by then...I'm kinda low right now in that department. haha But as long as we're cozy and warm indoors when it's snowing outside, I'll be fine. I've been wanting to rent a cabin for over a year now, so I'm ecstatic that we'll be doing that this winter. I can't believe I don't have more to say. This has got to be one of my shortest posts in a really, REALLY long time. I changed my layout and added Keane, Kelly Clarkson, and Shiny Toy Guns to my playlist. Enjoy it! - Jess | | |
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…so I'll check the weather wherever you are ‘cause I wanna know if you can see the stars tonight… - - - The. Concert. Was. Phenomenal. Where do I even begin? lol We arrived at the concert 30 minutes too late for the meet and greet (we were supposed to meet John Mayer and Paramore), so I was pretty bummed about that. But the concert totally made up for that...we were just a few rows from the stage, and there were 30,000 people that came, so I felt privileged. hehe My friend Faith and I were running to our seats when Paramore started playing at 7:30, and I don't think I've ever been so excited (except for when I found out last February I was going on a cruise for graduation). We got to our seats and I got chills from hearing Hayley's voice - she sounds amazing! Paramore had so much energy on stage; they were jumping and head-banging to every song they played (which included For a Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic, Hallelujah, Let the Flames Begin, Misery Business, Crushcrushcrush, That's What You Get, When it Rains, and some songs from their first album). Since we were right near the stage, I could feel the music vibrating my whole body. It was such an awesome, indescribable feeling. I wanted to scream...in fact, I think I did. Several times. lol I got some wicked awesome footage on my camera, and tons of pictures. I'll definately post them within the next several days. John Mayer was just as amazing. There was a point in the show when he took his shirt off...and DANG! I need say no more. hehehe Anyways, it was so cool because he took a girl's camera from the front row and took a picture of himself with it, and while he was doing that, I took a picture of him taking the picture of himself! It's a great picture too! I'll post that with the Paramore pics. John Mayer ended up playing until almost 12 am, and every song he did was so good. You can tell he really loves expressing himself and sharing that with the audience. After coming back from the concert, I was so inspired to start writing songs again, and playing piano (it's been a while since I've done either 'cause I've kinda been in a rut). But I think I can start again, because now I have a lot of ideas and songs just coming to me. That hasn't happened for a long time, so I guess I should say thank you to Paramore and John Mayer for helping me out a little! lol The next day us girls hung out in Charlotte and walked around the city. Then I spent the night in Burnsville and came home this morning to go to work. I can't even describe how much fun I had. It was...supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! hahaha Even though I'm in a great mood right now, I'm pretty beat. And sweaty. So I think I'll leave you guys for now and go do something that involves hot water, candles, and a bathtub.  - Jess - | | |
|    such fragile broken things... - - - I'm so stoked. Wanna know why??? I GET TO SEE PARAMORE IN CONCERT AUGUST 19TH AT THE VERIZON AMPITHEATRE IN CHARLOTTE!!!! RIGHT BY THE STAGE, BABY!!!!! Um, yes...I'm excited. Very. Excited.  And Bel Share is this Saturday in Asheville! I can't wait for that either. We're supposed to leave early and then meet Dennis and Sarah when we get there. Mom said Asheville's expecting 33,000 people at the festival, so we have to get there really REALLY early. Dennis kept telling me a few nights ago to be careful and not go down any empty streets or alleyways - but if there's gonna be 33,000 people there, I doubt there will be any empty space anywhere. lol Today I got another job! I'm going to be petsitting now - whoohoo, I get to clean up dog poo on a regular basis!! hahaha I have to drive around with my new boss tomorrow for my training, even though I've petsat many times before in the past. I'm excited...and the pay isn't too bad either, so between my post-construction cleanup job and this one, I hope things work out. This is really the first time all week long that I've been able to sit down and just type on the computer. It feels good. I hate it when I can't do what I want - that's how life is now. Ever since I graduated, things are crazy busy. And I've had to learn to pace myself and schedule my time. But I'm getting it...slowly. hehe Before I go, here's a few pics from the miniature photoshoot I did with my friend Care a few weeks back. Enjoy em! 
She got one of me too... 
- Jess -  | Currently Watching
Titanic
By Lewis Abernathy, Suzy Amis, Jason Barry, Kathy Bates, Nicholas Cascone
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- - - You ruined it all you ruined everything We could have been so beautiful but it doesn’t matter at all I’ll sing like a bird in its cage i can’t spread my wings anymore, but It’s gonna be all right It’s gonna be okay Your face is like a bad dream And very soon it will fade from my memory Thought you were amazing But there’s plenty of other fish in the sea Swimming, swimming, waiting for me
You didn’t respect you didn’t respect me We could have grown so strong but now it’s over and done I’ll scream out at the rain i don’t wanna feel hurt anymore, but It’s gonna be all right It’s gonna be okay Your face is like a bad dream And very soon it will fade from my memory Thought you were amazing But there’s plenty of other fish in the sea Swimming, swimming, waiting for me
your face is like a bad dream and very soon it will fade from my memory. 
The Bel Share festival in Asheville, NC, is this weekend. I can't wait to go! - Jess - | | |
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